Gramercy for Independence By Arhonda Luman

“Mother! Please, do not cook for them. You need to save your strength and energy!”

Fifteen years ago, I spoke those words to my mother a few weeks before she died from cancer.

She cooked  dinner frequently, for a young married couple who were her neighbors.  She loved to cook and pamper people.When she got sick, I wanted to protect her, so I did not allow her to cook for me anymore. I wanted her to enjoy what life she had left, so I cooked for her, cleaned her house, lalalala and did all the things a caregiver does for one who is dying.

It wassmiley face angel only a couple of years ago, when I was bound to a wheelchair , that I realized I had done her a disservice and victimized her with my “goodness?” Though my motives were pure, essentially, what I did was to take away her right to spend her last days doing what she loved to do.

In that wheelchair, I was limited in some things but I insisted on doing the things that I was able to do, which, actually, was a lot. I sat in that chair and cooked full meals  and washed dishes for my family and friends. It was not as easy as being able to stand, but doing what I was accustomed to do, gave me a feeling of self worth and  self sufficiency. It provided me the power to feel useful and needed! Those things seem to be something ingrained in the human psyche that is as important as the air we breathe.

People are complex animals.  They are so distinctively made that no two people have the same fingerprints.  The other side to the story is, many facets of our personalities are the same. There are a few things, (though I do not claim to know them all) we all have in common. The first one that comes to mind is a cliché I’ve heard since birth. “We have to eat, breathe and pay taxes.”

The next one begins expressing itself in early childhood. I recall my babies, jerking away from my tender administrations and informing me, “My! do it!”  They call that, “independence.” As we age, independence becomes more precious to us. Teenagers become aware that they want to grow up and leave the *nest* to make their own decisions. Married people file for divorce to gain their own independence. Lastly, wars are fought by countries for the privilege of being free! Meaning we want to live in a country that gives us the right to live in our own homes, and  be self sufficient. Lstatue of libertyaws are manifested to protect the rights of those that want to make their own decisions about their  home, health, wealth and body. That word, is such a valuable commodity and seemingly necessary for quality life, so I decided to look to the dictionary to expand my knowledge.

Independence is the quality or state of not being under the control of, reliant on, or connected with someone or something else.

Thousands of People have died defending that right.

This happens to be the designated weekend to celebrate liberty. The fourth of July, 1776, our forefathers signed a document that outlined our rights as citizens of  The United States of America. I was so engrossed with the profound wording and meaning of true independence, I copied a portion to share, in hopes it would expand your knowledge and respect as it did  me. If you have never read the constitution in its entirety, you may well be missing its importance.

The United States Constitution

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Though I did not copy a lot of words, these are powerful enough for all of us to say Thank you America!


2 thoughts on “Gramercy for Independence By Arhonda Luman

  1. It’s interesting how dependence and independence intertwine, dependent on others, caring for common welfare, uniting in defense, and all of these prerequirments for any real or lasting independence.


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