Insignificant by Arhonda Luman

rejectedRecently, my friend, Darla, confided to me that she was hurt when she messaged a Facebook friend and did not receive a response. Darla noticed her friend was active, but when there was no reply, she dismissed it as it was probably a busy time for her. Her friend never did answer. That was the second time Darla had messaged her and did not receive a reply.

The topic of her missive was not one of vast importance. I mean, it wasn’t like it was life or death, but it was a no-brainer; Darla had a reason, both times, for contacting her.

Darla looked like a wilted flower as she told me of her disappointment. I knew exactly how she felt. Well, I thought I did anyway….thinking people feel the same thing under seemingly the same circumstances is a story for another day

Darla was a sweet person, but she did not have an abundance of self-esteem.  True to her nature, she quickly accepted the blame for any offense or wrong doing. She had no earthly idea what she had done to offend her friend, but she searched the depths of her heart looking for the imperfection that was bound to be there by the evidence of being treated as insignificant.

Her story sparked something kindred in me, and perhaps most people. So I searched for the actual meaning in the Free Dictionary.

in·sig·nif·i·cant

(ĭn′sĭg-nĭf′ĭ-kənt)

adj.

1. Not significant, especially:

a. Lacking in importance; trivial.
b. Lacking power, position, or value; worthy of little regard.
c. Small in size or amount.
2. Having little or no meaning.

That injustice curdled my blood. No meaning? Little regard? Lacking position?  I hoped she could not see the steam rising from my indignation. All of a sudden, I transformed into my super-hero personality and began to dissuade her assumption that she was worthless. My personal opinion is that I would rather be disliked on a level field of value than be treated as if I wasn’t worthy to be disliked.Everyone knows then where everyone stands.Some do not feel that way though so I looked further.  I found a quote that was the epitome of friendship.cat-in-mirror

We are called to be strong companions and clear mirrors to one another, to seek those who reflect with compassion and a keen eye how we are doing, whether we seem centered or off course … we need the nourishing company of others to create the circle needed for growth, freedom and healing.

Wayne Muller
In an attempt to undo the damage, I quickly morphed into my Sherlock Holmes personality. There seemed to be a problem, and I believed I had found something elementary.

insignificant-quote

It was definitively something to think about.  After a bit of deliberation, the whole scenario appeared to have such a simple solution.

  1. Do not give others the power to appraise your worth.
  2. Do not treat others as if they are not as important as you.
  3. If there is a misunderstanding, do not be afraid to apologize; if it is not accepted, refer to friendship quote.
  4. Only friends that lift us up and encourage us are worthy of our friendship. If they do not, just remember, their friendship is *insignificant!*

 

 

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