Stinkin Thinkin! by Arhonda Luman

If you can’t say anything nice, say something shitty!  Well, what I really meant to write was, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” but when I looked up the quote to make sure I quoted it correctly,  the automatic filler filled that phrase in.  I was appalled! How did that happen?  I don’t mean in the auto filler; I mean in society?   It’s been told to me, that autofill uses words or phrases that are most popular. If I am reading this correctly, saying something shitty has become the new nice. That is a perfect description of stinkin thinkin and it’s poison!

rattlesnakeAbout a year ago, I was watching a major news network, one that I thought was classy and truthful. Near the end of the podcast/broadcast,  a film clip of a comedian who performed a comedy routine about fat people was played to the audience. Everyone on the news team laughed and giggled and thoroughly enjoyed the comedian’s routine that made fun of fat people. I cannot say strongly enough, by so doing, they endorsed his deplorable behavior. That behavior, comedic or not,  fits the definition of cyberbullying to children and to adults, cyber-harassment.

If reputable, educated, employed adults, support, enjoy, encourage, and participate in bullying, how will this malignant action be eradicated?  How can we impose threats and punishment to children or youth who take part in this distasteful and desstop-bullying-seriously-just-stoptructive activity, when their mentors are teaching them a  more efficient, in-depth technique? The answer is, it won’t be stopped.  Bullying is a maleficent seed that has been planted in the fertile, tender hearts of our youth. It is a breeding ground that for contempt and violence against families, friends, communities, our government and last but not least, our country.

I wrote a letter to the news network in an attempt to make this point, hoping they would reprioritize their dialogues.   I even admitted that I am overweight, but I was careful to explain, I was not worried about what they said about me. I am grown and have known all my life that I was fat. I have endured ridicule and made my way through life successful in spite of it.  cyerbullying-not-facelessThe prickly barbs have very little effect on me personally. Years of mentally deflecting their blow, have formed thick callouses that prevent me from being hurt.  I’m old enough and smart enough to know how to return insults, but I’m wise enough to not play that game. Time has taught me that everyone has something, someone could make fun of. Some things are kept obscurely hidden but nonetheless are still prevalent.

I am an old woman. In my time, As children, we were taught things like respect and honor. Those are still commodities that should be exalted!

People’s lives matter!


Bullied for her weight

Brandy’s sister, Jackie, says the teen had always been bullied for her weight.
Suicide was her only answer.

How to Groom a bully.

  1. Set an example in front of children or peers that saying humiliating things about people is acceptable.
  2. Not addressing it if your children ridicule people.
  3. Thinking one person is better than another, whether it be race, religion, monetary status, mental status, or education. (and many more things)



urban dictionary, definition of bullying .

To humorously mock or humiliate someone with a well-timed joke, diss or comeback.

Close-knit families, groups etc., tease and joke with those they love…but outsiders or strangers are not welcome to do the same. It becomes humiliating and offensive quickly when those jests are not filtered through love.

“Cyberbullying” is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones.

Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. –…


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