A Day at the Spa by Arhonda Luman

I cteetering old womanouldn’t wait! I almost ran out of my shoes to get out the door to my car. Well, I might be exaggerating a bit since we all know I am old and overweight. Let’s change that to…teetered, or wobbled? Yeah, Teetered works.

Anyway, I was long past due to have my nails filled.  Life sometimes gets in the way. Every few weeks, I get a pedicure, too. This was my time!  With my eyes focused on the car, I giggled like I was sipping on wine instead of my diet Dr. Pepper.panicked man

For those of you who do not know, my husband and I, are senior citizens, but we adopted two of our grandchildren. They are now 4 and 5 years old. My husband was my hero, again. He was going to watch the boys for me while I selfishly spent time on myself. I didn’t have the courage to look back. I would have changed my mind if I even saw one hint of regret on his face. So, I did the only thing I could. In self-defense, I got the heck out of dodge!

I drove 20 minutes to get to the spa. When I walked in, there were only two workers. That was strange.  I thought I heard music from, “Twilight Zone.”  Chill bumps did somersaults down my spine. I settled down when they greeted me politely and asked how they could help me. I told them I wanted to soak the old nails off (They were damaged from working in the garden) and I wanted a new set plus a pedicure. They were so sweet!  The gentleman showed me where to sit, and then he took the polish off my nails.

“Please soak the nails off, instead of prying them off. My nailbeds are sensitive.”

He nodded politely then reached for the tool he uses to pry them off.  My eyes rolled so far to the back of my head that the wrinkles on my lip completely disappeared.  I sat in horror as he started towards my tender nail.

“I try this, ok?

I nodded sheepishly.  I did not want to appear like I was a baby.

Gently he pushed the tool, that reminded me of a crowbar,  between the old acrylic nail and my finger nail. I held my breath. When the nail did not lift, he pushed harder. I jerked my hand back like he had shot me. Pain radiated up my arm, and  I grabbed my hand to hide it. My finger throbbed.

“Sorry, ma’am!”

There he was, polite again. I let him live.

“You come go with me to pedicure chair, please. We soak your nails there.”

I sat in the chair. He adjusted the water for the pedicurist, and then placed my hands, one on each side of me, in the solvent.

The chair was leaning too far back, so I sat up straight.

“Ma’am, you want to sit back?”

“The chair is reclining too much, can you bring it up more?”

He adjusted the chair and I leaned back as he walked off.  It felt like I was falling. My feet came out of the water. The chair was still reclining too far back, and then, I took a hit to my left kidney. Pain jolted through me like a lightning bolt.  I knew what had happened. He had turned on the back massager. That new, innovative machine beats the thunder out of me! I felt like I was in a blender and someone had set it on high!

My cheeks started wobbling as I tried to get his attention.

“Please turn this off for me,” I told the pedicurist in a voice that sounded like I was talking into a fan.

She smiled sweetly.

I thought she didn’t hear me so again, I said, “Can you turn this off?”

She smiled again and nodded. Reality set in. She did not speak English. I did, though, so I muttered a couple of four letter words under my breath.

By now, that machine had folded, spindled, and was well on the way to mutilating me. It had kneaded my backbone until it had pushed me forward in the seat and I was nearly lying down. The last time I was in that position, my last child was born.exam table

The pedicurist worked methodically on my feet, seemingly unaware of my distress, or of the scenery in front of her. I needed to sit up, so I took matters into my own hands! My hands were immersed in the solvent on each side of me so I couldn’t take them out. I squirmed a little and placed my elbows on the chair to pull myself back upright.

“You ok ma’am?”

“Yes! Will you turn this chair off?” I nodded to the control.

She pushed the button.

I still shimmied like my tires were out of balance. Heck! They probably were! I clenched my teeth, hoping I didn’t slide into the water.

I got her attention again.

“It did not go off!”  My eye twitched.

She saw the chair still wiggling and politely said, “Oh, I push the button again!”

She smiled and looked at me for validation of a good deed.

“Thank you,” I said through chipped teeth.

Whew! I was so thankful that ride was over.

“Ma’am, you come with me.”

She took me to the nail station and started working on my nails. I looked around. My nail tech had not come back.  I grimaced.

Diligently she prepped my nails, and my nail tech came back to finish applying the nails. Before polishing, he stood up.  My head swiveled like a little bobble dog toy that was popular when I was young.

“What the heck?”

He walked out, and the pedicurist sat down.

“Ma’am. I polish for you!”

What could I say?

“Ok,”  I whispered in a voice I only use when I have a stomach bug.

She polished expertly.

When my nails were dry, I paid her. I gave five dollars extra.

“You keep half and give him half.”

She smiled sweetly, “I keep it all!”

“Whoa! You guys, work that out!”

I was not sure how that was going to work, so I backed out the door.

 When I got to the car, my phone was in the seat, so I called my husband.

“Dad, I’m on my way home!”

“Ok, See ya in a little while,”  he said.

 It’s true!!  “There’s no place like home!”  I clicked my heels together. I couldn’t wait to get there!







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